Re-thinking my life

This weekend I re-thought (not sure if that's a word) myself. Or I was forced to. Ever since I returned to Sweden I have been keeping everything to myself: feelings, experiences, thoughts and plans. I didn't think anyone would be able to understand. I guess there was just one or two people I really shared anything with.

But after bottling things up for so long you can't hold it in after some time. After being low for so long I reached the point where I had to turn back up. There are still some things that I haven't been able to share with my closest ones because I'm afraid they won't understand me. But I think I've taken a step in the right direction.

Routine

I realized today that I've been caught in a routine. I had to remind myself why I am doing all of this and for some reason it was really hard.

The people I really would like to talk to right now are so far away. It's strange when the people that mean the most to you and the ones you would like to share everything with are in Pakistan, Kenya or UK. At the same time it's amazing to have such close friends in such different parts of the world.

But right now I would like to have them in the same room as myself.

I'm back!

Thank you Emad for reminding me that there are people that still want to know what is happening in my life! So, I'm back blogging in order to keep in touch with all my friends :)

There is a risk of this post become gigantic so I will start with one thing at the time. First event up:

Engage 2007

Our first national conference as an MC ended one week ago. I don't think I have ever been so nervous before a national conference before, even as MC in Pakistan. Maybe it comes with the role as MCP ;)
Things didn't seem to work out in the start but in the end I had one of my best team experiences in AIESEC during this conference. Thanks to the amazing facis and chair we pulled off an awesome conference that I think the delegates will remember for a long time :D

Emma, Emelie, Luca, Karin, Burak, Jih-Ming, Jan, Leo and my lovely team Linn, Joao and Himanshu

... THANK YOU for being the best people to work with and for making Engage a success! Definitely the best faci team I have ever worked in :)

I had a lot of thoughts going into the conference and even after: Is the content really delivering the right message? Are we being too operational in our approach? Did the delegates get what we wanted to say?
In the end I guess the coming month(s) will show if the conference was a success or not! In either case I had a great time :)

Back in Sweden

I have been back in Stockholm for a while now and I'm really sorry I haven't updated my blog up until now!

As soon as I arrived in Sweden I was thrown into my new responsibilites and I haven't had the time to even think about what has happened to me, how it feels to be back and at the same time how it feels to have left a place that I now consider a second home. Actually, it all already seems so distant... Even though I'm in touch with people from Pakistan every day it all seem distant and unreal... Did I actually go to Pakistan??

But then I take time to think about it, to read my diary, to talk to people, hear their voices and look at some pictures and I remember...

I remember...
... having sheesha on the rooftop...
...coffee at Chatter Box with Wangari...
...coffee at CCD..Espresso.. Ciao... Costa..
...all the sounds, smells, languages and the food of the MC house..
...ordering KFC at 3 am and chatting to Saaim at the same time :P....
....never having any water when it was my time to shower...
..shopping at Zainab!!!!...
...Broast from Karachi Broast...
... Pakola :P...
... my favourite interns Yao and Wangari - I love you guys!!!...
...Taha's face when I told him me and Omar were together - hahaha priceless!!...

Actually I could go on and on :D
Thank you everyone that made my stay in Pakistan an memory for life. I miss you soooo much!!

And now I'm back in Sweden.. How does it feel? I don't know, good I guess. I'm really enjoying being MCP, that's for sure ;)
And time will tell what happens next!

Discovering new parts of Karachi

Today as I was working from the computer labs at SZABIST university I got a message from Saaim, the LCP, asking if we could meet up. An hour later he came by, picked me up and we went to attend an OGX team meeting. When it was over he promised me an adventure. I didn't mind that at all ;)

Me, Saaim, Khurram and Ali first went to grab some food and freshly squeezed juice (I'm going to miss that!!). Then we dropped Ali home and continued to Saddar and Empress market.

Clock tower at Empress market

Empress market is a market that sells almost everything within foods and animals (alive and dead):

meat market

You can get anything from tropical birds to chickens, quite fascinating actually.

Moving on, we went to the Rainbow Center which is the hub for the production and sales of piracy DVDs. So I stocked up on DVDs, buying about 25 of them for approx 15 euros! :)

Yes, it was a nice afternoon! Thanks guys!

One year in Pakistan

I was just writing an e-mail to an old friend and I wrote the words: "I have been in Pakistan for the past one year..." And it just hit me how it must sound to her and what she must be thinking: "Pakistan? Wow! Why would anyone want to go there?"

I can't believe that I've been in Pakistan for the past 12 months. I have really gotten used to the life over here and it feels so odd and sad that this won't be my reality very soon. At the same time I'm looking forward to the simpler and cleaner life in Sweden ;) But I'm sure I will get tired of that after one year as well :P

So, for the past days as I am realizing that I need to do so much before I leave I have managed to catch some kind of bug so my stomach is all messed up. This is the first time during my 12 months here!! Can you imagine that?

Besides that I am taking full advantage of the fact that so many things are so affordable over here compared to Sweden. I'm getting myself a new pair of glasses, jeans, shoes etc. everything between 1/3 to 1/10 of the price. Wonderful!
I'm also trying to meet up with everyone before I go. So, there is going to be a lot of coffee for the next couple of days :) I don't mind that at all actually ;)

I also have to mention that I had a delicious dinner together with Omar at one of the two Japanese restaurants in the city. Definitely a hit!

PS. I have no idea why the comments are disabled on my last post... Everything is fine in the settings!

Finally...

Sorry for the long silence! Things have been going up and down lately and since I feel I'm a bit restricted in this forum I just decided not to write anything at all.
This evening I'm feeling really good after a kick in the ass and some yoga! Yes, after discovering Emad's hidden talents we have started doing yoga in the MC house. I find it very relaxing and it really helps me focus (or that is what I'd like to think ;)). So, what's been happening besides that?

• After the LC visit to Lahore it was the time for our first MC team days outside of Karachi. We went to Murree, a small town i the mountains. It's a real tourist spot but since it was off season it was still very nice and the scenery is beautiful!! I wish I would have the time to discover more of this part of Pakistan because it is truly amazing.

The (shoe) shopping took A LOT of time ;)

• After team days we continued to Islamabad (my first visit!) for a night of intense sightseeing. Thank you Mustafa! I must say I really liked Islamabad. I think it's the closest I will get to home in this country ;)

Bus station waiting area in Islamabad
The Pakistan monument in Islamabad - beautiful!!

• I had to leave earlier from Islamabad since I had to deal with the never-ending visa issues but thankfully they are solved now. I had a lot of adventures finding a flight to Karachi and I ended up staying at the airport for 10 hours :S
  
• Then I had a short trip to Sweden for Annual Planning Weekend. It was really nice to back for a few days and I'm really looking forward to next year :)
• Now it's not many days left for me here in Karachi, trying to make the most of it.
  

More to follow shortly!